Ministry’s Most Commonly Forgotten Secret

by Deb Sternke · Jul 6, 2017

I had an opportunity to share on the V3 blog about Ministry’s Most Commonly Forgotten Secret.

V3 is a church planting movement that comes alongside church plants to support and train through learning cohorts, assessments, and resources. Our church plant has greatly appreciated their help!

My week had been particularly hectic, stressful and busy. But honestly, so had the week before! After thinking more about it, I realized that actually we hadn’t taken a day off in more than a few weeks now. Things just kept popping up. I’d say to myself, “This is just a season. It’s how it is now, but it won’t always be like this. We can rest sometime next week and catch up.”

What I really needed was rest. When planting a church, one of the easiest things to be put on the back burner is the need for rest. It’s essential to take a break from our work. If we neglect this, we have the candle lit at both ends and will end up burning out.

Church planters are especially vulnerable to to burn out. Look at any church planter’s planner and you’ll see a never-ending list. There is just so much to do:

Build a core team
Fundraising
Cast vision
Create vision booklets
Make phone calls to supporters
Write emails to keep your prayer team up to speed

And all of this is in addition to regular life stuff:

Taking the kids to soccer practice
Making cookies for the fundraiser
Working out to stay in shape
Keeping up with friendships
Planning a date night with the spouse

Sounds exhausting just reading these lists isn’t it? (Take deep breaths. In and out.)

See, that’s the thing. For many planters, life feels completely filled to the brim. We know we need to take a break, but we struggle to have an imagination for how that actually happens. The rigorous schedule, constant pressure and lingering anxiety can be a vicious cycle that we easily fall into. It can often feel like life is running away with us.

This was where I found myself that day when I realized it had been multiple weeks since our last day off. I knew something needed to change.

Rhythms of life

We all have a calling to work to extend God’s kingdom. Equally, we have a calling to rest from that work. He invites us to work with him and he promises us rest. It’s essential to live into each of these realities and have a rhythm of both in our lives. Jesus is always our model and he lived a life of rest and work. It was a fundamental spiritual discipline that he engaged in regularly.

We need to have a rhythm of life that swings fully into actual rest—where we are recreated, refreshed, restored, reconnected to ourselves, God and others. It’s then that we can swing back fully into actual work—not striving and stress-filled, but moving out in God’s power, where there is an ease to our work because of the Spirit’s power behind us.

The big questions are:

How do we live our lives in a way that swings into both worlds when planting a church? How do we not neglecting one or the other? How can we have this rhythm swinging in a healthy way?

Before jumping straight to the practicals, the best place to begin is to take a look at our thoughts and beliefs about rest and work. We can have all the best plans for rest, but often something at the core still keeps us from it. If you are feeling worn out, stressed, and tired today consider: What are the thoughts behind those feelings?

Those thoughts are fuel

Just like in a car, our thoughts end up driving many of our decisions and actions. When we can identify the thoughts, we can begin the process of allowing the Lord to renew our minds. We can’t do battle with something that is nameless. Identifying the thought and belief is the first step.

Some of the common thoughts that we may think are:

We may believe that rest is not productive, helpful or accomplishing anything.
We may think we have to earn our down time.
We feel we are being lazy if we need rest.
We may see busyness as a status symbol or a confirmation that we’re doing it right, so we avoid rest.
We may believe that rest is deserved only in proportion to how crazy full our life is.
We may believe rest is impossible if we have young children.
We may think that rest is only found on the beach with a cold soda in hand and no one else around.
We may think that rest is “me” time, and that feels simply like I’m being selfish.

Are there ones you identify with?

When we recognize, with compassionate curiosity, the thoughts and beliefs we have about rest and work we open ourselves up to God’s empowering presence. Only then can we make space for the Lord to speak to us, heal us and bring freedom through renewing our minds.

The truth that sets us free to rest is that God can handle things without me for one day. He has got this!

Today consider what thoughts or beliefs keep you from resting and taking a break? What good news does God want you to know about that? How can you respond to that good news this week?

4 Ways to Stop the Cycle of Non-Discipleship

by Deb Sternke · Feb 9, 2017

I had an opportunity to share on the V3 blog about 4 Ways to Stop the Cycle of Non-Discipleship.

4 Ways to Stop the Cycle of Non-Discipleship

The beginning of planting our first church was a time of passionate vision, excitement about possibilities and anticipation about what God would do through our emerging community. Dallas Willard’s quote about the church and discipleship stirred our hearts:

We must be disciples, we must intend to make disciples, and we must know how to bring people to believe that Jesus really is the one.

The Brick Wall

As the first few months went on, despite the books, conferences, and podcasts on discipleship we were consuming, we quickly became aware that we had no idea what we were doing.

I was left with this question….

How am I suppose to make disciples when I’ve never been directly discipled by anyone?

I was struck that no one had ever intentionally come alongside me to disciple me—to show me the way.

And I wasn’t alone.

In fact, Dallas Willard also said, “Non-discipleship is the elephant in the church.”

This is the reality I was bumping up against. Most of us have not had a discipling relationship where someone has walked alongside us to help us be with Jesus, to learn from him on how to be like him.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity (which I was tempted to do!), I resolved that the cycle of non-discipleship would not continue through me.

[Read more…]

Book Review: Church As Movement

by Deb Sternke · Sep 9, 2016

This is a guest post I wrote on my husband’s blog (bensternke.com) reviewing the new book Church As Movement by JR Woodward and Dan White Jr. This post is a part of a blog tour of reviews for the book.

When it comes to discipleship, most of our churches follow the methods and ways of traditional learning. We teach classes, launch programs or go through sermon series to cover an area of discipleship.

While information is a part of the process of discipleship, it is incomplete as a whole to help us learn and practice the ways of Jesus.

Discipleship was the engine of Jesus’ ministry. It is where he spent the most time and energy. His discipleship was in the context of face-to-face relationships with a small number of people.

The disciples were invited into an intentional relationship with Jesus to learn what he knew and discover who he was. Jesus’ final words to the church was to go and make disciples: Do the same as he did, reproduce and pass on what has been invested in them. As followers of Jesus, we all have this call to discipleship.

Chapter Four of Church as Movement is about making disciples, and why it needs to be central to your church planting process from the very beginning. Woodward and White explain,

“At the center of church as movement is learning how to be disciples and make disciples.”

The authors begin by looking at how Jesus discipled others – using him as their model. From this place, they share tools and content to help us move into a more complete process when it comes to making disciples.

Giving us a vision and practical handlebars for this process, we learn how we can create safe spaces for peoples to be who they are, but also stretch them towards the narrow way of Jesus.

They define discipleship as “a move towards accountability and vulnerability to learn and practice the way of Jesus on mission.”

For the church planter, this is often begins within the context of gathering a core team. This essential section of the book dives into some important things you will need: from tools to help you discern who to invite into the core team, to the importance of creating a space that is safe as well as stretching, to the four phases that your core team will go through (each very important!) and a tool to help us pay attention to and process the moments where God is at work in our lives.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this chapter (so hard to pick just a few!):

“Merely transferring spiritual information can inoculate us to on-the-ground practice. Practice is being formed and informed by the bumps, bruises and baptism of application… this is being a Jesus follower.”

“True learning doesn’t take place until we learn experientially. And experiential learning often starts with someone modeling what we are to do.”

“We must engage the relational work of cultivating disciples in community.”

“Jesus was an expert at asking questions that challenged people’s underlying assumptions. We would do good to model this in our discipleship process.”

“We are shaped by experiencing deep, abiding safety, where we are loved as we are while simultaneously being loved enough to be invited into transformation, mission and doing some challenging things.”

“Each stage [of the phases of a discipleship core] brings certain challenges that have to be faced, worked through and resolved if the group is going to survive.”

“Disruptive moment[s].. call us to respond to God’s invitation… and we are challenged to listen.”

“Who you invite to become part of the discipleship core is one of the first and most far-reaching decision you will have to make as you start a missional-incarnational community.”

As someone who is currently in the midst of church planting, I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to learn how to be a disciple of Jesus and make disciples like he did. It is a must read for those wanting to start and sustain missional-incarnational communities.

For those wanting to pick up a copy, you can do so on Amazon or InterVarsity Press.

Check out more info and resources around the book on the Church As Movement website.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

4 Things I Wish I Had Known Before We Planted A Church

by Deb Sternke · Aug 18, 2016

I had an opportunity to share on the V3 blog about 4 Things I Wish I Had Known Before We Planted A Church.

4 Things I Wish I Had Known Before We Planted A Church

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It was one of those turning-point conversations that seemed small in the moment but ended up being very significant. I was finishing up some dishes in the kitchen after a long day with our four kids. My husband brought it up slowly.

I have a feeling God is asking us to plant a church . . . What do you think?

Blank stare. Jaw drops. Anxiety flooded my heart, making me quite nauseous as I loaded the last plate into the dishwasher.

My response: No way.

Having been in ministry for a while, I had seen lots of trying situations for people leading churches. In my mind, planting a church meant work that never ended. It meant struggles, conflicts, disappointment, and hardship. I did not want to go there.

Long story short, after lots of wrestling, surrendering, and seeing God’s vision for the body of Christ, we planted our first church in northeast Indiana in 2008. We were working to plant a community that had discipleship and mission at its core. It was a difficult but amazing journey.

And guess what. We’re planting another church—this time with some good friends in the Indianapolis area. We learned that planting is a lot of work and that there’s real wisdom in going out in pairs.

As I reflect back, here are four things I wish we had known before we planted the first time… [read more]

Build Community: What’s REALLY required

by Deb Sternke · Apr 28, 2016

I’m excited to share this week on the V3 blog about Building Community.

Building Community: What’s REALLY Required

Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you. -Romans 15:7

Building community is hard work. It takes intentionality and risk; requires energy and planning. And there is always the possibility of rejection as we put ourselves out there. However, making room for others in our lives is an essential practice for those in the community of faith.

A Difference Between Simple and Easy

We all long for community. People are hungry for welcome. When we open up our homes to others so much more happens than simply adding to the number of bodies in our home. There is incredible power in simply welcoming people because in this simple act we are welcoming others as Christ has welcomed us. It is one way we join him in his work in the world. When we do this, Jesus is present with us.

This is easier said than done, though! Here are some of the reasons I’ve come up with to NOT make space for people in my home: [read more…]

One Simple Practice When Evangelism Completely Freaks You Out

by Deb Sternke · Jan 13, 2016

I’m excited to share this week on the V3 blog about One Simple Practice When Evangelism Completely Freaks You Out

V3 is a church planting movement that desires to come alongside you as you seek to plant churches that are a sign, foretaste and instrument of God’s kingdom. Growing a movement involves having a vibrant faith, a viral hope and a concrete love. They seek to foster these through all they do: our learning cohorts, our assessments, multicultural churches and resources.

One Simple Practice When Evangelism Completely Freaks You Out

I don’t know if you’re like me, but when I hear the word evangelism, I have a visceral response. My heart sinks, and one of three images usually comes to mind:

The bearded, scruffy-looking man walking down the sidewalk with the cardboard sign declaring, “The end is near!”
The street preacher dressed to the nines on the corner, bullhorn in hand, shouting out a pointed sermon to a mass of weekend shoppers, all of whom are nervously trying to avoid eye contact.
The kind, old lady attempting to pass out tracts to anyone who will slow down long enough to see what is in her little, frail hand.

I have had so many fears when it comes to evangelism. The training for sharing faith that I’ve learned in the church has, more often than not, been far from helpful. For me, it’s honestly just something that doesn’t come very naturally. The tension I have felt is that I really want my neighborhood and city to experience the good news of Jesus, but I haven’t known how to do evangelism in a way that looks like Jesus. Read more…