Pastor’s spouses are often on the front lines of churches.

They are in the community, the schools, the workplace, the small groups, the neighborhoods. And yet, they are often the least supported, resourced and equipped.

The demands of ministry can leave us wrestling with questions like:

How do I prioritize my marriage and family?
How do I set healthy boundaries?
How do I interact with difficult people in our church community?
How can I be “me” in a role that’s often beset by expectations?
How can I make time for self-care and rest: emotionally, physically and spiritually?

Without a place to process these questions we can feel lonely, isolated, exhausted and wondering if the sacrifice is really worth it.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if there was a place of support, resourcing and equipping?

My name is Deb Sternke and I’ve felt all of this. I’ve been in ministry for over 20 years and my husband is a pastor and church planter. Right now, I’m helping to plant a C4SO church in Indianapolis called The Table. I’m passionate about supporting and resourcing other pastor’s spouses right where they are at.

What You’ll Find in Coaching

A safe place to share your real life struggles
A community of friends who are in the same role
Growth in your discernment to hear and respond to Jesus leading you
Questions to draw out underlying beliefs and be invited to respond with faith and freedom.
Be developed in healthy boundaries
Learn rhythms of rest and self-care
Training in a framework for dealing with conflict
Equipping with practical resources and tools

What people are saying:

Deb was one of the most insightful, gracious leaders I have ever had the pleasure of being shepherded by. She always helped provide a warm, loving environment that allowed me to grow and knew how to provide the perfect combination of invitation and challenge for each woman she coached. Deb offered the wisdom, encouragement and love that helped me to make courageous leaps in my faith and see the breakthrough in my relationship with God that I was desperately craving. My life and ability to disciple were forever impacted for the better during my time with Deb, a gift I am thankful for every day.

–Katie Anderson, Dietician, Richmond, VA

I can honestly say the months of coaching and conversation changed our families daily life and rhythm. Deb helped me understand higher concepts and goals for our family, but also suggested practical tips to put those concepts into practice. We’re doing better at incorporating our entire family in living a missional life, and our family is closer because of it. I highly recommend this sensitive and insightful woman as your coach.

–Lisa T. Bergren, author and lay leader at Trinity Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, CO

The Details

How does it work?

You and up to five others participate a 60-minute video call with me twice a month for 6 months. (12 calls)
You can also call me to process things offline. You’ll have my cell phone number.

What’s the investment?

60 minutes per call to participate in the video call (with another 30 minutes or so for homework)
$60 per month, for those within the C4SO diocese (your first month is 100% refundable if you’re not satisfied with your experience)
Come ready to participate, engage fully, do your homework, and dig into the process (if you do, I’m confident that this coaching experience will be transformative for you!)

Ready to sign up? Let’s talk!

Fill out the form below with any questions and I’ll be in touch ASAP!

Here are some more comments from people I’ve coached:

The benefit of being coached by Deb has gone far beyond insight into my own walk of faith and leadership. She has equipped me to coach those who will continue to coach others.

—Karen Heist, Executive Administrator, St. John Lutheran Church, Columbia, MD

The coaching process with Deb was life transformational for me. It was very refreshing to soak in the coaching process, work on my own leadership issues and motives, and allow God to speak into the areas of my life that needed breakthrough. Then I moved into discipling others in my church. Deb’s insight and expertise and the shared experience with other women doing the same things that I was doing was just the right combination to equip me for a lifestyle of discipling. I will always treasure our time together!

—Lisa DeKryger, pastor, The Bridge, Allegan, MI

Being coached by Deb was a pivotal move in my transformational journey. As a result of the excellent teaching, strong encouragement and graceful accountability, I have reached a new level of freedom in authenticity and love for Jesus and His bride. I am deeply thankful for the experience.

–Roz Mitakides, Leadership team at Southbrook Church, Dayton, OH

Deb has a wealth of knowledge, practical advice and a grace filled heart, all of which were pivotal in helping me to grow. My family uses many of the things I learned and I’ve also been able to share with others the same practical steps that helped my family grow closer.

-Heather Blankenship, Associate pastor’s wife and Missional Community leader, St. Simons Community Church, St. Simons Island, Georgia.

During my year of coaching with Deb I experienced transformation in a new way. It had been so long since anyone had invested in me as a leader. I loved the way she coached with grace AND truth, leaving neither behind. I had never had someone model this for me in such a way that was easy to imitate the way Deb did. I felt challenged by her specifically in the areas of sabbath rest, a healthy rhythm of life, and fighting for the hearts of those in my life. She made everything she did look easy, and I knew I could do what she was doing with others. Now, I AM doing that. I still recall and imitate things I saw Deb do with us in coaching, but now have added my own touches and personality into how I help make disciples. That year was not easy; there were many nights I did not want to do the coaching with her. Everything in me resisted sometimes, but every time I got on there week after week, it was the best hour of my week by far. I am so thankful for the investment Deb made into my life.

–Emily Smith, pastor’s wife and leader at Mason Vineyard Church, Mason, OH