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Deb Sternke

Joining Jesus in his work

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3 Questions To Ask Each Morning

3 Questions To Ask Each Morning

by Deb Sternke · May 6, 2015

Imitation is an essential part of discipleship. Being a disciple literally means you are a learner. And if you’re going to learn something, you need to see it. You can’t be something you can’t see. You need an example, a pattern, a sample, a demonstration, an embodiment.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul encourages the Corinthians to imitate him as he imitates Christ. Essentially he is saying, “Look at what I’m doing, see what is happening and give it a try yourself!”

That’s really where it begins – You start by watching, observing, and then giving it a go and doing it yourself. Eventually, down the road innovation comes – where you add your own adjustments and tweaks based on your personality, giftings and context. However, for a season you simply do what others are doing.

One very helpful imitation I picked up from Steve Cockram who co-founded Giant Worldwide, is beginning each morning by asking the Lord three questions. Starting the day focusing on Him, listening for his voice and letting Him set the plans for the day has been tremendously beneficial.

Our family vision statement is “Joining Jesus in His Work” and these three questions have been instrumental in helping me to live into this each day.

Here are the three questions:

1. What are we doing today Lord?

We want to be about the work of the Kingdom. Jesus said he only does what he sees the Father doing. His Father’s business is the renewal of all things. So Father,what are you doing and how can I join you in your work? What’s our focus? Is there perhaps something I’ve forgotten about that I need to be reminded of?

2. What do I need to hear from you this morning?

The Lord longs to speak truth to us and remind us of his promises. If I don’t hear these things from him my focus will be off and distractions will creep in. Often these are simple but significant truths that the Lord wants to remind me. Things like: You’re mine and I’m yours. I’m going before you and preparing a place. My love is with you always and forever. Basically, if I don’t hear it at the beginning of the day, things won’t go as well as they could.

3. Who do I need to connect with today that isn’t on my list?

Frequently, the Lord will bring to mind someone that wasn’t even on my radar. An old friend, a roommate, a partner I talked with last week, etc. One day I felt like he brought to mind a friend and even said to share a word with her. After texting her, she later shared that this word brought a much needed encouragement to her after a very discouraging day.It always amazes me what the Lord can do when we are open and available to be lead by Him. He sees all and knows all – and invites us to partner with him!

 

The Bible says “Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.”

These are three questions to come back to again and again to facilitate daily partnering with our Father in heaven. It is a very simple, imitatable pattern of prayer and partnership with God that we can pass onto those we are investing in.

What if you started tomorrow morning with these questions? What will the Lord say? What will he do? I’d love to hear about your experience with these questions in the comments below!

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3 Keys To Growing Friendships

3 Keys To Growing Friendships

by Deb Sternke · Feb 11, 2015

Do you have a list of favorite Christmas movies that you watch every year? Maybe you watched Elf or A Christmas Story last month?

It’s a Wonderful Life is one of my absolute favorites. Believe it or not, I watched it for the FIRST time just a couple years ago. I couldn’t believe I had waited so long to see it!

It’s about George Bailey, a banker who ends up on the verge of bankruptcy, heading to jail for financial mismanagement that wasn’t his fault. In his darkest moment, he wishes he had never been born and is on the verge of suicide.

At that moment, he has an eye-opening experience with an angel named Clarence. Clarence shows George what his town would have been like if he’d never been born. George realizes that he has made an incredible impact on the people around him in the simple, ordinary things he has done his whole life.

George learns that despite having no money whatsoever, he is indeed very rich in relationships and love!
In the final scene of the movie, George runs back to his wife and kids, filled with joy and gratitude over this new epiphany. The people of the town find out that George is in trouble, and spontaneously come to the house to give whatever money they can.

They give George enough financial assistance to help him avoid bankruptcy and jail, and the community is transformed. (At this point tears are running down my face – what amazing friends!)

The Importance of Friendships

Friendships can be one of the most valuable and significant aspects of your life.

A few years ago, I realized that I lacked long term, deep friendships with others. I was surrounded by people, however, I was feeling lonely and quite discouraged.

There can be all sorts of reasons we find ourselves with fewer friends than we need. Past hurtful experiences, busyness, and our culture’s focus on individuality can all contribute to loneliness and isolation.

The truth, though, is we were made for friendship. We are hardwired for community. The Bible has a lot to say about the importance of friendship.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.”
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This old African proverb speaks to this as well:

If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together.

How to Invest in Friendships

So, how do we begin investing in our friendships? How do we break free from the “go it alone” life and move into friendship and community? Here are a few first steps that you may find helpful:

1. Start Risking

We have all experienced difficult relationships. The good news is that God longs to take those painful places and make them whole again. He wants you to have friends and live in community.

If you’ve experienced hurtful friendships, be honest with God about it. Share the painful places. Let yourself feel it. Then release those experiences to the Lord. He wants to lift your burdens, heal your heart and help you step into new and abundant life.

2. Invest Your Time and Energy

Building relationships takes time and energy. We all spend our time and energy on something – we simply need to decide to be intentional about how we use this resource. If you’re wanting to grow your friendships, start by spending time and energy investing in your friends!

You can’t be friends with everyone, of course. So make a list of people you want to begin cultivating a friendship with. Then consider how you will concretely spend your time and energy to invest in that friendship.

Is it calling them once a month? Having them over for supper? Texting them weekly to touch base? Sending them a birthday gift? Getting together to watch the football game? Whatever it is, make sure you do it consistently!

3. Open up space in your home

Our homes are often the most powerful untapped vehicles for friendships and community. How can you use your home to grow your friendships? Do you have an extra bedroom or an air mattress for visitors? If so, let your out of town friends know they can stay with you. (Hotels are actually a modern invention!)

On the flip side of having people stay with you, think about whose house you could crash when you’re traveling!

Invite someone over for supper once a week and have them bring something to share.

Get into the habit of making extra food in case one of your kids asks if their friend could stay for supper at the last minute. (We have this happen a LOT!)

When we begin to see the importance of how we are called into community and take small steps in that direction, we start to see a transformation from emptiness to fullness. We find ourselves surrounded by friends and family who know us and love us.

What other practical ways have you invested in and grown your relationships? What results have you seen from this? We would LOVE to hear your story.

For more on building relationships and it’s importance, check out these helpful articles:

  • Help Wanted: A Critique of DIY Spirituality
  • What Keeps Us From Having Deeper Friendships?
  • 7 Things All Great Friends Do

*This post originally was posted on the Five Capitals Blog.

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